


for you and me

by minideul



Series: realize [2]
Category: Cravity
Genre: M/M, a spin off from my minisong fic???, but he’s done something good for hopeless jungmo, fuck u tags, god I hate this part, good luck reading this mess lol, i wrote this at 3am, minisong hella domestic here, moguham are partners, no beta we die like men, one sided love kinda thing, they’re also agents, wonjin drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27920698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minideul/pseuds/minideul
Summary: wonjin getting drunk was mainly because he wanted to be there for jungmo, but perhaps voicing out his own deep thoughts would help him, the both of them, better.
Relationships: Ham Wonjin/Koo Jungmo, Kang Minhee/Koo Jungmo, Kang Minhee/Song Hyeongjun, Koo Jungmo/Ham Wonjin, Koo Jungmo/Kang Minhee, song hyeongjun/kang minhee
Series: realize [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044522
Kudos: 42





	for you and me

“minhee is awake?!”

jungmo yanked his head up his desk at wonjin’s loud words, the paperwork he was prioritizing and stressing about now abandoned. woobin was at the door of the agents’ office while wonjin stood at the opposite of him, shock written over his face and the new-found information from the agency’s most trusted doctor.

“yeah, i just checked him up around 10 minutes ago. he’s all fine, thank goodness.” the exhaustion didn’t go unnoticed as woobin exhaled. “and i was worried so much because he didn’t wake for 5 days.”

“that’s a big relief considering you and the other surgeons barely saved h— jungmo-hyung!”

the said man rushed past the two individuals by the door, hurriedly running out of the room and ignoring wonjin’s calls for him. his rapid, resonating footsteps echoed throughout the hallways as he headed to the staircase to go 7 floors down to the infirmary. lunch hour was at it’s peak so waiting for the elevators would take forever, he’d rather use up his energy to get to minhee as quickly as possible.

he was already panting to breathe by the time he gets to the infirmary floor, but that wasn’t going to stop him from running like he’s in a marathon. only god knew how worried sick jungmo was for the past few days: the sleepless nights he faced because fucking kang minhee carelessly almost got himself killed during a mission and doctors managed to get him out of death’s reach by a hair’s breadth and he had been comatose where no one was sure when he’ll wake up and all jungmo could do was to pray endlessly.

so to say he was more than overjoyed to hear the boy has come to consciousness now is an understatement he would’ve bowed to the gods and repeatedly thank them for giving minhee another chance to live, but what jungmo needed is complete reassurance which he can only find by seeing a wide-awake minhee himself, right now. 

the name plate with room 14 sticking out on the wall came in sight. jungmo took that as a sign to cease his steps then stopped right in front of the door. he paused to compose himself and take a breather, hand clasped on the door handle to slide it open to finally, finally meet minhee after days of longing for him. 

however, he stopped when he shifted his gaze to the long vertical window of the sliding door.

he literally could hear his own heart cracking at the edges.

_ah. i guess i’m too late._ jungmo snorted, nonetheless faintly smiled afterwards with his eyes still fixed on the window. this situation is just too hilariously miserable that he’s practically just laughing to himself at this point with the grief submerged too deeply he couldn’t even express the emotions he was supposed to feel.

jungmo didn’t realize wonjin chased him until he hears heavy breathing beside him. “i know you wanted to see minhee but damn it, don’t run off like that next time.” the younger wheezex out as he bends down a little to catch his breath. he looked up and caught the conflicted expression on jungmo’s face, wondering the reason behind it.

“why aren’t you going in? you’ve been worrying about him nonstop.”

when the older one gave no response, wonjin decided to take a peek at the window himself. there’s minhee wide awake on his bed and despite being wired to machines and iv and blood bags, he seemed to be perfectly fine as woobin said so. to be honest, more fine than any other patients who would’ve survived a fatal wound. he’s moving the upper half of his body normally, laughing and smiling like he’s having the best day of his life.

wonjin instantly understood why jungmo’s being hesitant at the moment. inside the room with minhee was hyeongjun. they’re partners, so it’s nothing out of the ordinary that those two are stuck with each other like two peas in a pod. though, hyeongjun literally sitting on the bed beside minhee, smiling bashfully with rosy cheeks as they talked, the hand-holding, the heartfelt eye contact they shared, these things signified there’s something more than friendship blooming between the both of them, and everyone was pretty much aware of it.

including both of them, jungmo and wonjin. which is why wonjin admired the former for still chasing minhee despite acknowledging the fact that minhee and hyeongjun evidently have feelings for each other. jungmo held dear for minhee as his first love from high school, bearing the same emotions until now for the boy. if not the same, perhaps stronger than ever. of course, how would your feelings for someone falter when you’ve been together on the same path for all these years? from being schoolmates to now working under a secret agent organization, jungmo and minhee had watched each other grow up till now. wonjin knows by that much as jungmo’s best friend and assigned partner, so he fully gets how precious minhee is to jungmo.

(sometimes, wonjin wished he’s in minhee’s position to be cherished like that by jungmo. only a dream that can never come true, for jungmo who has always considered wonjin as a younger brother. the sad reality he had to accept, wonjin knows.)

the peeking pair didn’t see minhee leaning in so suddenly to peck hyeongjun on the lips coming, causing wonjin to widened his eyes while jungmo only blinked repeatedly to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. it doesn’t stop there; minhee kept on peppering hyeongjun with kisses all over his face while hyeongjun giggled at the ticklish sensation of minhee’s lips on his skin. 

_they look so happy together._

without more seconds to waste, jungmo let go of the knob and mumbled, “he’s okay, and that’s all it matters.” it’s the fact that jungmo tried so hard to conceal the anguish but his effort remains futile when his voice breaks at the end. “hyung,” wonjin couldn’t find the right word to comfort him, afraid that he’ll hurt jungmo’s fragile emotions with his reckless choice of wordings, therefore he only managed to say, “i’m sorry.” 

wonjin sensed the pain behind jungmo’s half-hearted laughter alongside the same innocent grin which he usually had though this time a little forced. “what are you sorry for? you didn’t do anything wrong.” he spared minhee and hyeongjun one last glance before he walked away with downcasted steps, the younger left with nothing to say and followed him closely from behind. 

-

jungmo and wonjin returned to their shared apartment that night, a bit later than usual as jungmo wanted to complete doing his paperwork by that day. wonjin simply nodded, aware that jungmo needs to distract himself with productivtiy from earlier on, and stayed with him despite the older telling him to go home early (hard-headed wonjin retorted with “i have to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”). 

they lived together for obvious reasons, the main one being that since they’re partners it’d be more efficient if they were to reside in the same space, and jungmo recently took a long term lease of the apartment and needed someone to occupy the other unoccupied room, and this wonjin comes into the frame as a tenant by only paying less than 300,000 won per month. considering the rent prices have skyrocketed around these areas, that was a very, very nice deal which wonjin could never say no to.

another bonus of living together under the same roof is developing a sense of empathy for each other. starting off as strangers who were assigned to be permanent partners to forming a landlord-tenant relationship to being the closest friends who go through ups and downs together, all those years of flourishing their bond has led to where jungmo and wonjin are now. 

after washing up and changing into a fresh set of pyjamas, wonjin headed to the kitchen to prepare a simple dinner for him and jungmo. a heartbroken jungmo probably wants a filling homemade meal, and he had a simple tofu kimchi stew recipe in mind that’d soothe jungmo and heal from the emotional wreck he’s experience.

so he certainly did not expect jungmo, still clad in his work fit, surrounded with uncountable green bottles of soju at the dining table. 

“hyung, what the hell.” 

jungmo took a shot before he turns to wonjin, smiling weakly. “i promise i’ll put everything in the recycle bag afterwards.”

just when he was about to pour for another round, wonjin stomped to the seat in front of jungmo and took the extra empty shot glass then filled it with soju before downing it in one gulp, much to jungmo’s surprise. “what are you doing?” the last time wonjin consumed alcohol at a company party, jungmo had to deal with a very drunk wonjin and accompany him to the bathroom every hour. wonjin should be fully aware of his extremely weak stomach but he’s here drinking mindlessly, and jungmo foresaw himself taking responsibility for him within an hour.

“hey, hey, hey.” jungmo refrained wonjin’s arm before he pours more for himself. wonjin shrugged jungmo’s hand off from him. “i’m not letting you drink alone.” 

“not you saying that when your alcohol tolerance is shit.”

“you’ll feel more comfortable to rant things out when i’m not in the right mind. i’m doing this for you,” and wonjin took another shot as if he badly wanted to be drunk.“so don’t hold back anything.”

this was something new to jungmo. since when wonjin was this brusque? the wonjin he knew would’ve went, _“you know what? do whatever you wanna do.”_ and proceed to mind his own business, so he wondered what activated this unfamiliar treatment wonjin is giving him. _oh,_ clueless jungmo wouldn’t have known, not in a million years unless wonjin finally gets the courage to speak out his true feelings.

not that jungmo was in a place to complain, because if anything, he’s sure wonjin’s doing this to provide him consolation— there’s no one else who knows him better than his very own best friend. so jungmo took this given opportunity to talk about his worries, mainly focusing on the boy he’s fallen for, and wonjin listened to him attentively despite the alcohol kicking into his system and eyes growing unfocused (he really should stop drinking at this point).

“but in the end, minhee’s happiness matters to me the most.” jungmo gulped down his umpteenth shot. albeit a little tipsy, he was still able to talk and think properly, and his body posture remained stable. “if he’s happy, then i’m happy.”

when jungmo got no response, he took it as a sign that wonjin was fully trashed by his excessive soju intake. his head bobbed from left to right, enduring the weight of his eyelids that’s threatening to close shut, and he’s only a few seconds to falling onto the floor with the constant swaying of his body.

“goodness, you’re wasted already.” laughed jungmo as he watches wonjin struggle to stay awake. jungmo got ready to send wonjin to his room and finish off the remaining soju before he goes to bed, that was until wonjin slurs in his drunken voice, “jungmo,” _no formalities either._ “i’m wondering. what do you see in minhee?”

_what?_

“what about minhee that made you fall for him?”

he didn’t see that coming at all, so he confusingly stares wonjin who reflected a stern reflection back. and suddenly the younger didn’t seem like he’s intoxicated by the soju. he couldn’t remember wonjin being serious when he’s in such a state— normally the pathetic, depressive side of him emerges, pouring out his deepest concerns while crying his heart out. the unfamiliarity astonished jungmo, however he found himself answering the sudden question thrown at him.

“it’s because he’s him.” he cringed slightly at his own words. _that’s so corny._ “i— sorry, that wasn’t helpful. feelings are too complicated to put into words.” it’s ridiculous that he’s feeling shy in front of a drunk person who most probably wouldn’t recall anything that’s happening at the moment. his cheeks warmed up at the thought of his complex emotions for minhee yet again.

wonjin clicked his tongue, not in annoyance but more towards amusement. he drawled, “yeah. that wasn’t,” _hiccup._ “very helpful at all. okay, maybe this: what does minhee have that i don’t?”

jungmo wasn’t understanding any of this, but pieces are connecting together and he thought he’s starting to get it, though it’s a little doubtful because ham wonjin can’t possibly like him _that_ way, can he? they’ve been the best of friends for years, and if somehow wonjin has gained feelings for jungmo along the way he would’ve at least slipped a few hints here and there with his clumsy nature. or perhaps he did, but jungmo’s obliviousness made it hard to pick up the signs that supposedly had a special meaning behind it.

like maybe that one time, when wonjin came up to him during one of their yearly company appreciation parties and stared at jungmo for a good few seconds before he cleared his throat, looking sideways with flushed cheeks, “you look unusually good today.” which jungmo thought was just a simple compliment— he wore one of his luxurious tuxedos that day and had his hair brushed up with gel, so personally he thought he appeared rather stunning too (not to be vain, but he admitted he did look better than average). and to think that he laughed it off when wonjin whispered that the ladies around them were casting looks towards jungmo, and jungmo only took the way wonjin glared at them back as something lightly and didn’t think about it too much. 

not to forget weeks ago, jungmo remembered and now he felt very dumb to not getc clue, when jungmo was talking about planning to bring minhee out on an ‘outing’ (technically, a date), wonjin had been quiet the whole time while jungmo shares his date-scheming to the boy until he’s done, which wonjin only responded with, “you have time to bring him out on a date but you don’t even spare a few minutes to go with me to the new gelato shop near our home? i’m less important than your crush, is it?” which obviously sounded petty of him, but dense jungmo didn’t catch the jealousy and genuinely thought wonjin’s just dejected as a friend. and yes, he ended up bringing wonjin out that night to the said gelato shop to satisfy the younger’s wants before he had gotten more upset.

and of course, jungmo would never forget the day he got a fever. a rare occurrence for him, but yeah it did happen he was so ill to the fact that he couldn’t get up from his bed without his head hurting and he wouldn’t have survived that day if it wasn’t for wonjin. the latter took care of him very well. he cooked warm food and helped him change his garments and make sure to swap the wet cloth over his forehead every now and then, basically he was there the whole time, worried sick and even cried (stop crying, you crybaby! i’m just having a fever, not dying!” “i know, but you don’t ever get sick. what if you are dying?” “hey now—”).

wonjin stayed by his side until the next day, when jungmo finally felt a bit better and woke up to wonjin sleeping in a sitting position next to him. he’s propped on the floor, head laid on his arm which he made it as a pillow, and one of his hands holding tightly to jungmo’s freezing one.

even just now. wonjin wasn’t obliged to stay back at their office and he could’ve left for home early, but he insisted on leaving with jungmo until the late hours. a long day of completing paperwork is equally exhausting as going on missions, and wonjin would’ve gone home early if he wanted to. but he didn’t simply because he’d rather not leave jungmo all alone.

to think that jungmo considered these acts as a friendly gesture and overlooked the situations as “something a normal friend would do” and it took him a while to comprehend those aren’t something wonjin would do if he strictly had platonic fondness for jungmo. he couldn’t think of since when wonjin harbored those kind of feelings for him, because all these years of wonjin being aware of jungmo’s affection for minhee, had he been suppressing them alone without talking it out to anybody? 

if there’s anything in the world that jungmo relates to the most is experiencing unrequited love, and the last thing he wants is his own best friend to undergo the same dilemma, especially when he’s the reason for it.

“you’re not responding.” wonjin huffed, a pout comes across his thick lips. “does it make you uncomfortable? i just want to know what i’m lacking,” he hiccuped again. “why minhee out of all people? what makes him special? why can’t it be me? there’s certainly something about him that i don’t have, right?”

jungmo softly murmured, “wonjin…”

wonjin pointed at him with an index finger, his left eye twitching as he grew irritated. now, jungmo wasn’t so sure wonjin’s cheeks were beet red because of alcohol or his overflowing emotions. “y-you! don’t call me like that!” from the way he staggered, at least jungmo could confirm the younger is nowhere near sober. wonjin drew back the accusing finger and leaned against the chair flimsily. “you know what? if you wanna like minhee until forever, then i don’t care! but you said it yourself that you’ll be happy if he is. but from what i see, you’re not. and how am i gonna deal with watching you in pain until the end of your lifetime if you’re still hung up on that boy?”

jungmo only looked at him as wonjin continued rambling, “i don’t know who’s more pitiful between the two of us at this point, but if it has to be one of us who suffers, let it be me. you deserve much more, jungmo. i just want you to find your own happiness, even if it’s not with minhee or me. so please, not just for me but for your own sake.”

that’s the last thing jungmo heard from wonjin before the younger passes out completely. his head rested on the cold wooden surface of the dining table, eyes fully closed as he drifted off to dreamland. he’s passed out so peacefully and jungmo didn’t have the heart to shake him awake, so he carried him to his room— wonjin is lighter than he appears to be, so jungmo did it rather effortlessly— and gently plopped the boy on the bed. thank goodness he already washed up earlier on so jungmo’s job only required him to pull the covers over wonjin.

he sat on the bed and takes his time to watch over wonjin, studying his pretty features as he sleeps soundly. wonjin whined a little in his sleep, face scrunched up and jungmo snickered at the endearing sight of his friend’s sleeping habit. delicately, he brushed wonjin's hair, and without himself realizing, he smiled. 

“good night, wonjin.”

_maybe it’s time._

-

things weren’t looking too good for the hungover wonjin in the early morning. at half past 6 he’s already made a ruckus in the apartment, crashing into walls as he scurried to the bathroom to puke out the contents from his stomach with very loud retches.

jungmo stirred awake up at the commotion and exited his room half-asleep, heading to the direction of the noises to see wonjin looking miserable with his head stuck into the toilet. he rubbed his eyes drowsily and steps inside gave comforting pats on wonjin’s back. he could've left to continue sleeping by now, but he’s a light sleeper and the sounds wonjin make would let him stay awake, and he’s not that mean to leave his poor friend in such a state alone. 

“this is why you shouldn’t have drank too much.” jungmo sighed when wonjin’s finally done. poor boy barely could stand up to his feet and only managed to do so with jungmo’s assistance. “c’mon. clean yourself up and get your teeth brushed. i’ll make hangover soup.” 

the younger did what he’s told to do so within a few minutes before dragging his heavy feet out of the bathroom. another few hours of sleeping in sounds tempting, but the aromatic smell of herbal ingredients mashed together hauled his body to the kitchen where jungmo’s back can be seen at the stove. wonjin slid into a seat at the dining table and stared at jungmo absentmindedly with his half-lidded eyes, until his memory from last night dominated his head and he internally groaned with full regret.

jungmo’s right. he shouldn’t have drank too much.

the hangover soup was already prepared within minutes so wonjin didn’t have to wait so long. jungmo turned off the stove and brought a bowl for wonjin and one for himself. and so the pair ate in silence, and wonjin hoped it’s mainly because the day is too early for the both of them to come up with anything to talk about and not because of last night’s event. although the atmosphere was a little awkward, he convinced himself it’s due to the fact that their brains weren’t used to functioning properly at this hour.

“your hair looks funny.” wonjin suddenly blurted out of the blue as he finished the last bits of soup in his bowl. truth to be told, the air surrounding them was getting a bit too suffocating and wonjin started up a conversation with whatever he’s seeing right now. he thought talking about jungmo’s bed hair was a nice conversation starter.

jungmo rolled his eyes at the comment. “geez, could’ve made fun of you throwing up so early in the morning but me being the good friend i am helped you with it and even cooked hangover soup for you.”

wonjin’s little laughter filled in the space, shortly followed by jungmo’s. the morning in the apartment started off pretty badly but it had gotten better with a few words exchanged between them, and the mood seems lighter now. 

while jungmo gulped down the remaining soup in his bowl, a mental debate occurs in wonjin’s head: whether to bring up the topic from last night or not. wonjin reckoned if they won’t talk about it any time soon and pretend it never happened, things won't ever resolve and he’ll never get a proper answer. _it’s now or never._

“so,” he clears his throat, causing jungmo to glance at him. “what i said about last night—” wonjin unintentionally cuts himself off, finding it hard to proceed on tackling any subject regarding yesterday’s matter. he’s having second thoughts now, but it’s too late as jungmo quickly comprehended the current situation.

“i’ve made up my mind.” jungmo set the spoon on the table.

wonjin furrowed his brows, puzzled. “what?”

“you made me realize a lot of things last night. who knew drunk wonjin would’ve made points better than a sober wonjin could ever.” chortled jungmo. he chuckled faintly at the sour expression on wonjin’s face. “i want to start anew. i think i’m gonna work on my feelings. i’ll try to move on from minhee and focus on finding my own happiness.”

now the younger’s face changed into an unreadable one. “ _oh_ , good for you then.” 

“but i don’t think i can do it alone, so wonjin,” the younger jolts a little at this seat when jungmo’s stretched out his arm across the table and let his hand came in contact with wonjin’s. their fingers intertwined with jungmo’s lead, and they fit together perfectly. “i trust you on guiding me with this. i want to rely on you, but at the same time i’d like for you to rely on me too. let’s make this work for the both of us. i don’t think there’s any better creating my own happiness other than with someone who’s always been there for me?”

for a second there jungmo thought he was getting rejected by wonjin, by his own friend who literally confessed his feelings for him last night. wonjin was left speechless, perhaps all this was too much for him to absorb. jungmo panicked but made sure his tone was still gentle, “hey, listen. if you feel it’s too much then—”

“no, no, no,” wonjin interrupted, his tiny hand squeezing jungmo’s larger one in reassurance. “i’m just appalled. i didn’t expect you to say that. but of course, i’d be more than glad to do so especially if it’s with you.” jungmo swore his heart almost skipped a beat when the brightest smile decorated wonjin’s puffy face. _since when his smile is this pretty?_

jungmo whispered, “thank you so much for giving me a chance, wonjin.” 

“that’s supposed to be my line.” wonjin giggled. “but you're welcome. and thank you to you too, hyung.”

maybe, just maybe, wonjin getting wasted wasn’t such a bad thing after all.


End file.
